My Broadway Debut
THE GIG
Last night was big, exciting, and honestly a bit terrifying. I went on for the first time as a sub for the music director of Hadestown, on Broadway! It’s the most prepared I’ve ever been for a performance, and yet no amount of “readiness” could have distilled the nerves. I’m writing this entry partially to share the experience with anyone interested, but also as a reminder to myself of how I got through it, and what this new experience has been like.
My duties for the evening were as the conductor, pianist, and accordionist for the show. Most of the show is not explicitly conducted, since the music grooves like hell! (pun intended). But never-the-less, the conducting/music directing part of the job is still by far the most “work”. The responsibility of starting and stopping each song, leading any tempo changes, and pacing the show from one number to the next was more relentless than I even realized while preparing. The show is about 2 hours and 40 minutes of continuous music (with an intermission), and on my first real performance of it, I’d say it felt closer to 20 minutes, no joke. When you’re firing at full capacity, time sure does fly.
NERVES
I have played for plenty of musicals in my life, but none on Broadway (or even “off-Broadway” for that matter). It was also the first time I’ve ever swooped in to be part of such a “finished product” like this. Most musical endeavors involve at least some level of rehearsal or development that leads somewhat organically to the performance when everyone’s ready, or at least close to ready (Even if it’s just one full run through). For this experience, 99% of my rehearsal was by myself in my apartment, while the actual gig was with a 7-piece band, and a dozen actors on a moving stage. Furthermore, my job was not to follow the leader. It was to set the pace! It truly felt like jumping on to a moving train, with the added bonus of the fact that when you get on that train, you’re also the conductor! (Yes, pun intended again. Not sorry.)
The band is on stage (and in costume) for the entire performance, so you really do feel like you’re “in the show”. Throughout the night a LOT was going through my mind that I had never experienced before in my entire experience as a musician and musical director thus far. I had massive, sometimes dizzying waves of nervous energy that I had never experienced before. But I ended up finding a few ways through it that I never anticipated, and that I’m incredibly grateful for.
PUSHING THROUGH
The cast and band were very supportive, and this was huge. If I ever dared to look away from my music, I was almost always greeted with a warm look, a smile, or a wink. The ability of a friendly wink to shatter a ball of nerves was incredible. It was instant. It was everything.
Another unexpected coping mechanism was seeing T. Oliver, the shows dance captain, and “swing” on stage for his 3rd ever performance as “Hermes”. It’s a huge role, and is really the heart and soul of the show. When nerves crept in, if I could see T, it put my nerves in perspective very, very quickly. By all outward appearances, he couldn’t have been more comfortable in his skin, and absolutely masterful at telling this story. T. and I were both in the deep-end, but sometimes I had to watch him to remind myself that we both knew how to swim.
My best tool to battle the nerves was an obvious one, but still surprised me at times. It was my preparation. There were more than a few times when there was a cloud of nerves taking over my thinking and focus, but my body knew what to do anyway. I was so ready that the flurry of on-stage distractions, lighting/tech changes, and moving platforms never stopped me from hitting all my marks, from musical entrances, band cues, and all the conductor duties.
MOVING FORWARD
After the show I got an email of notes to incorporate into the next performances, and I’m proud to say that they are all fairly minor adjustments, all things considered. I have another couple shows coming up soon, and I’m VERY curious how different it will feel on the second pass. A huge element of the nerves for me was the sheer amount of “unknown”. I wasn’t worried about anything being particularly hard, it was just all new, and with no test run. If nothing else, the unknown element is now completely gone, even if there are still nerve-racking elements to handle. I’m really grateful to have had this experience, and humbled by the responsibility I was entrusted with to be part of such a show. After a few shows when I get “comfortable” (whatever that means) I’ll advertise some dates that I’m playing in case anyone to go along for the ride with me.